I like to say I'm very in touch with the universe. I like earthly things. I keep on me all the time. I keep these crystals on me and around my neck as well. I never take it off ever since I put it on I never took it off. So I just always keep this one around me specifically.

I am majoring in sociology and I'm getting my bachelor's and master's degree in sociology. So it kind of just gives me hope for the future. In terms of social, I find myself being drawn a lot towards the family aspects because that's like the number one agent for socialization. I'm always drawn to those sort of the family theories of like the family structure and everything, like how families may impact. So those kind of theories specifically, I think I'm more so drawn to just because I'm more connected to that, um, coming from like a dysfunctional family. Learning about how families become dysfunctional and stuff like that and the impact it has on children and the impact it had on me that I didn't even realize. It's just extremely interesting to me and I think it helps me with, I, I go to therapy, but, it helps me in my healing and in my journey of trying to figure out, who, like where I belonged in my family structure and, and why I am the way I am and stuff like that. And why my siblings are the way they are, why my parents are the way that they are because the first agent of socialization is your family. So if you can figure out, why is my mom like this? Why is my sister like this? Why is my dad like this? Then all of those things are going to affect me. And whenever I figure out why my mom and my dad and my sisters are like this, then it's going to help me figure out, okay, that's why I'm like this. You know, that's why I think like this. That's why maybe I act like this. That's why maybe, you know, things like that. Maybe that's why I dress the way I do.

So my dad, he was around when I was younger. But he's not anymore. He's totally alive and fine and well. But he just kind of skipped town on us and he had, other children with other women and stuff like that. And I do know my siblings. I live with them now, who have different mother, but we all have the same dad and he's just kind of like, you know. He was just wasn't around much and stuff like that.

It was always a very small, tight knit family. And then people started moving away and having their own lives. And then, I never had it. Well. No, I had grandparents. I only had a grandmother on my mother's side. My grandfather died before I was born. And my grandmother, she was around and she took care of us, when we were young in elementary school, we would be at her house every night. But she ended up dying when I was like 10 because she had a stroke and because she was, she was doing her own slew of drugs and she died at, I think she was 50, like late fifties. She was doing all these drugs and, and, you know, taking all these, weight loss pills and everything like that, just that whole mixture just wasn't good for her very whole body. And so I lost my grandparents at a very young age. I only had my mother. That's just kind of what happened. And now I'm here.

My mother, she kicked me out, that was about, actually, it was like two weeks before my19th birthday. She had kicked me out of the house and I ended up being homeless for 6 months. I started, then I ended up living with my best friend, for, for a couple of months. And then my sister, the one who we shared the same dad, but not the same mom, she kind of took me in after I got pneumonia in December, cause I didn't have any clothes, but, she had took me in. After I got pneumonia and I've been living with her ever since. And then, you know, I got back into fashion and everything like that. And yeah, I haven't heard from my mother since she got kicked me out. Then, I have no idea what's going on there. I have no idea, you know, I'm, I'm sure she's happy, healthy and everything like that, along with my other siblings.

I remember like when I first got kicked out, it felt like, this is it, like this is the end. I have recorded one of my first get ready with me videos, before kicked out, with a couple weeks back. I recorded a get ready with me video, and I posted it on TikTok. And it had went viral. It went viral and every get ready movie video I did after that was viral. I remember I did a first date video that went viral too. I went on my first date with my girlfriend at the time, it was like I had gained a massive amount of followers. I got from in like a span, I want to say maybe three weeks. I went from a hundred followers to almost 8, 000 followers. I, so at the moment I was like, "Oh, this is it." Like this is, people are going to start recognizing me for my fashion and stuff. And people are going to start recognizing me. And just when I was getting hot, my mother kicked me out and I lost everything. So, obviously, I didn't, I didn't post on TikTok anymore and I lost my, I lost my TikTok and I lost my clothes and I lost everything and I was just like, "wow, maybe this is it." Like, this is it. You know, my life is done. Cause I was also, you know, suicidal for a point as well. Um, so I was just, I'm done. Like this is it. Like my life is over. I was just going through a really, really dark time in my life.

But everything had worked out so perfectly. I couldn't deny that there was some sort of divine energy stir in the pot had to be because at the time when I got kicked out, I, I had resources. I had my best friend and I had a girlfriend. So my girlfriend helped me move out as quickly as possible. She had a car, so she was able to help me move out as quickly as possible. And I had only met my girlfriend, I want to say maybe three weeks before I had got kicked out. So I met her, we were together for like three weeks during that time. I got kicked out and she had, helped me pack up my clothes, got me everything. My best friend, when she found out I was homeless, she took me in, no questions asked, she took me in and, and I lived with her for those months. And then, at the time my sister, who I live with now, I wasn't speaking to her, I haven't spoken to her in years. She had hit me up randomly on Instagram. Like, randomly, she had DM'd me and she was just like, "Hey, just wanted to check up on you. I was thinking about you" and stuff. "Just wanted to, make sure you're okay." She never has hit me up before in years since then, but she had hit me up one day and I just told her everything. I told her, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm sick. I'm homeless. I got kicked out and I just told her everything. And then she, she would immediately was like, "okay, well you're now you're living with me." Cause she had, the extra room and the extra space. So she was like, "yeah, of course you're going to live with me. It's no problem." Ever since I've been here, even though I'm still healing from the trauma and everything like that, I am happier. I, I didn't want to leave, obviously nobody wants to leave their parents. But, you know, being here and seeing how I rebranded, and I rebranded my room and I put out Get Ready With Me videos on Instagram and now I'm almost at 20, 000 followers and it's only been two months. Like I, I completely did a whole like 360 and like rebuilt myself honestly from, from scratch and I'm happier. I know within myself that this had to happen. I had to get kicked out. I had to be homeless for that time. All of those things had to happen to me so that I could be here.

For me, I always keep my crystals on me and everything, because I want you to know I am a spiritual person. I keep my spirits on me. They're close to me at all times. I want you to know that. I think, for my identity and, how I express myself, I think it definitely impacts, like I said before, I never, ever, ever take off. I shower with them, I sleep with them, I don't care what the outfit is, I'm wearing this with the outfit, this is gonna be a part of the outfit. Once, even my rings, I wear certain rings where, I never take them off. Regardless of what outfit I'm wearing, regardless of, it doesn't matter, these don't come off, ever, under any circumstances. They do not come off. My spirituality, I feel like, I express it obviously through my fashion as well, because it's kind of like an accessory, it's kind of an extension of me. And it's something that you're always going to see me with. You're always, no matter what the event is, no matter what style I'm wearing that day, you're always going to see this necklace and these bracelets. Like I, I, I can't take it off. Like I can't. There was that one point where like I started to get a rash when I first started wearing it. I started to get a rash and even then I'm like, I'm not taking it off. And then my skin just healed and now I don't have the rash anymore. It's kind of just like, I just always want to keep it with me because it helps me feel grounded. It helps me feel connected to the universe at all times.

This is what keeps me sane. This is kind of what's given me hope in the hard times in which I've had. This was, you know, how I stayed closer to, to the ground and also stayed humble as well, because it's also a reminder of like, because I've had these for, for years, so it's also a reminder of where I came from. It keeps me just connected to my younger self and to not forget her just because you know, she went through trauma. We have to heal her. Doesn't mean that she gets forgotten. She's still with me at all times. I keep her connected with me.

That was always very important to me, but is also for me, it's also hope it's, it's hope and it's faith for me. Because, like I said, before it, it helps me stay grounded and connected to the universe. Even when I got kicked out. I had lost everything. I only had like two pairs of shoes to my name and a bag full of clothes that I could fit in whatever bag I had that day. But the one thing that she couldn't take from me was this. She couldn't take this and she couldn't take my bracelets. She couldn't take these from me.