Everyone has their own New York experience. So for me, my family is very poor. And I think that from a young age, I completely understood that and that we didn't have a lot growing up. And I grew up in the Bronx, I lived there until I was five, and then we moved to Manhattan. My experience was definitely different from everyone else in my elementary school. I'll say it was a very, I wouldn't say prestigious, but it was a well known elementary school among Asian kids, I'll say. So that's why my parents really want me to go. Cause they wanted me to be safe. My parents, immigrated here, and I have two older sisters, so I'm the youngest, they immigrated here, and they really cared about our safety, because New York is definitely not the safest place, I'll say. They definitely sheltered me a lot, so I didn't have the same experience as other kids. It helped that I had two older sisters because my parents couldn't always pick me up after school and so my older sisters would pick me up and like take me places, but we were never allowed to go out on the weekends. It was always going from school and then going to Saturday school and then Sunday school so there was never a break and then we didn't have money to afford to do extra curriculums or extra activities outside of school so it's always just studying or like reading books. And like, we didn't have money to watch TV either, so I never knew much about TV or fashion, stuff like that. I did get to watch cartoons on the VHS tapes when I was younger, but that was pretty much it. Didn't really have a lot of exposure to outside resources or anything like that. And because I wasn't allowed to go out a lot or hang out with friends when I was young, not until, I was graduating middle school and going into high school. That was the only time I was really exposed to things like that. So definitely a different experience, I'll say, because I know a lot of kids who do end up going to New York, their parents do like let them go out a lot, then like party, but like I was definitely more sheltered.

I think when you're like growing in one of the biggest cities ever, it's bound to happen. I think it really started in middle school. When I was in elementary school, I did not care about what I wore, I just cared about comfort. I hated jeans I would used to wear sweatpants and the most baggy shirts that had like holes ripped in them becauseI hate how constricting they are. I hate how it's so tight and uncomfortable and I hated sneakers, too. But in middle school, I think that's when I started caring more. Towards the middle of it, I started to care a little bit more. One day, I went to Macy's with my mom and she bought me this one skirt. This was like what really started is that these two girls that were fairly popular in my school, were like, “oh my god, you're wearing a circle skirt, It's so cute.” I had no idea what a circle skirt was. They were blessed enough to know about fashion, have fashion magazines, they would talk about the fashion magazines and all that stuff and I had no idea what circle skirt was. I was just like “yeah I have a circle skirt” and I pretend that I knew and they're like “you know it's so popular right now, it's so trendy, oh my god, I'm so envious that you have it.” I had no idea what it was but I think that's what really started it. These two girls who pointed out my skirt and I was like “oh this is something, like, influential in school,” and that's what really started, my interest in fashion.

It was still hard because I didn't have access to, I didn't have, the type of phone. Like, during the time period when 2014, 2013, I don't know when the iPhone had roughly came out, but we started gettin touchscreen phones and internet and all that stuff. I had a flip phone because my parents could not afford to get me an iPhone or anything. And so I didn't really have access to the internet either. My older sisters had computers, but that's because they used it for like homework and stuff. Of course, they were able to search up all these things, but I wasn't because I didn't have a computer, but hanging out with, certain people and friends definitely helped me. Growing up I my parents definitely could not afford buying me new clothes and it was a bunch of hand-me-downs, so I had to make work with what I had. But in high school, that's when I start wearing nicer things. When I say nicer things, it'll be like forever 21 and stuff like that.

And then I met, that was my first ever boyfriend. It was like towards my sophomore year, my first ever boyfriend was the one who really taught me about fashion and really got me interested in it. Because like I said, the idea of spending money on clothes was just like not something I really thought about. But, we both had very, um, different senses of styles. I think I did adhere to, what he liked a lot. I don't think it was he was restricting me, but it was just like you always want to dress to impress at the same time. I realized like that's not what I like. I used to wear a lot of street streetwear, but I realized that's not really for me. I think I've always wanted to be bold, but I think I was just always too afraid. Of course, in society, everyone's afraid of what everyone thinks about them. I dated him like six years. There was like the growing period of like me really liking fashion. But we had different taste. He likes simplicity. And I like loud and big, like loud and bold. I like Dolce and Gabbana. I like how loud it is and how unapologetic it is in a sort of way. And there is like a sort of elegance to it. I like how loud it is and, you don't feel too bad about how you wear it. It's like, kind of fills you with confidence. It's like bold and loud and like, it's just very unapologetic.

Now, now that I have my own job and I can pay for my things, I definitely have bought a lot of things. My mom loves to say, I dress like a peacock. No one in my family is, really interested in fashion, so, my mom always complains about me spending too much money on clothes, or wearing makeup, and she's just like, “how much money are you gonna spend on shoes?” She's like, you dress like a bird, and I'm like, “of course I have to dress like a bird, how am I gonna find a mate?”

I just think it's an outlet for me because every time I get stressed or sad, I always want to dress up and that just makes me feel happy. And I think I'm healing my inner child of not being able to dress up as a kid and only playing dress up games on the internet. I think it's, for me, it's like a stress reliever of trying, like, I think when anyone dresses pretty, they always feel better about themselves. I think when you're stressed or sad or upset, you definitely take it, you make it harder on yourself and you like, pick on yourself, and that's why fashion is a great way for me as an outlet. I think when I feel fine, it's like kind of hard for me, but when I'm upset or when I'm stressed, I'm doing everything in my power thinking about the clothes. And I think it definitely comes out a lot better. I've noticed that, when I'm really stressed at work, I dress a lot better. Or if I'm really sad, I put a lot more effort in what I wear. Whereas, everyday, it's more of a, not casual, but definitely I wouldn't say it's as nice as when I'm stressed or upset.